tired mind and soul

I have been quite for a week.... quite refreshing that my sis passed her master degree exam and my mum came to visit. This afternoon, when i am preparing for going home, Tan said, wait for her, she has lots of things to do....What the hell is she talking about? i have put those documents weeks ago and she didnt even look at it. It that the sign of good manager? And then she said, have you checked the values, all good? and then she said again, have checked the wording, everything alrite? She is just dont want to let me go home although it was already after office hour. i want to piss off but already dont know how to get mad.... and then she said how come JL, one of other manager, become like this not checking the documents. how should i know? he is you best friend, and you asked me? You better fuck off!!! my limit already in the corner..... new job please come please.....

holiday

yesterday is a holiday, not stepped out from house hahahaha... preparing a writing for serdos...so difficult even to answer ever question in 150 words minimum in bahasa. need to finish it tonite... is my work cycle back to beginning? cape boooo

lazy

after the budgetting the situation is almost back to normal and i just to lazy to type. i need ideas for deskripsi diri... so hard to write in indonesian. better in english ahhh jia you!! also need to apply many and more jobs :)

glad i have this blog

just happy that i have this blog to spilt out my 'uneg2'

feeling blue

woke up early in the morning, not early than work days but still early have appointment to see apartment apart from it, felt guilty with the Fairs that i have attended, looks like i dont qualify..... so stress-full. I think i qualify but afraid to try. Need more -jia you- I just need more supports. Need to share the thing in my head but seems everyone is sick with my sharing... and myself also sick of it. I dont need to have that such 'uneducated' share.... how can i let it go? New jobs please close to me, I need it desperately and tomorrow is monday again... time runs quickly these days

lost my passion to this company

/sigh/ i felt into wrong company, although it pays lot but the environment is really really not healthy. yesterday, Tan asked me to sort collection datas from 10 complexes and she said that she will do the big complexes. Well, i felt relief that she will do... but till tis saturday morning, what she did was, came late, busy gossiping with other staffs about the politics in the company and then, at the end, she said, we can finish the data on monday rite? What the hell? I am the one who busy sorting the datas and she just came late and gossiping... baka!!! so unfair.... i just dont like people who just saying thing without can really do it. yesterday was her bday, no big cake and i didnt buy any cake too..... just bought a piece of fabric is more than enough cos it more useful than cake. others were asking her bday cake, and thought she was too stingy to spend the more. i think she is stingy hahaha after office hour, i went to #fair2. I did drop my cv to lilly.... wow... also drop little at amway... same pharmaceutical... o la la la wish me luck my dad just told me that i am one of the sertification candidates and have to prepare my resume.... ohh.. jia you ah yan ling!!!!!

no passions..

truly really lost my passion to the jobs. i still handle it well but i just dont like, when i just arrived at office, directly ask me to do this and that, while she just doing something else for her own use. give me a breath..... my sakit hati still there...really difficult to cure...it needs some time but as soon as i change ti new job...it will cure directly..people said, neighbour's grass always greener....but i just dont care. i need to change, need to get passion's environment..not environment that teach you kill each other... please guide me Lord....i know You have prepare the best for mqhe

lazy

my storm almost over... last night, when home about 7pm, Tan asked me to stay at office and she wanted to go home.... What???? this afternoon, become operator for GMs presentation...... and good news is, on saturday I can join my fair#2 little bit earlier, cos no meeting on that day!! Yihaaaaaaa I saw on Tan's computer, a document titled CV... is she going to :GO: ???? well, i am calming a bit now.... dont want to talk about it anymore just jia you!!!

The storm hasnt passed yet

Last saturday I went to Kompas Job fair :P well I should pay and found some jobs that I interested to. need to start apply asap. As I finished the work at around 2 pm, baka!!! overtime already and get no pay!! Tan even dont allow me to go. just started to teached me how to calculate those reports at around 12pm and expect me to finish it asap. What a ridiculous habit? I am not a perfect woman, just ordinary people that need to study things before become expert. Then I just promise her that I will finish on Monday. I did finished but it wasnt perfect at all. She just grumbling and 'soft torturing' while checking my reports. is there any people can do the reports perfectly 100% as she want at the first try? I dont think so. Even the datas are not tallied each other, so how can the numbers be the same, even produced in different way? Today is record, i leaved office at 10.30pm alone, no other team mates. If i have other team mates, then it was much better. but I am alone!!! ALONE!!!! Btw, in the process of checking the reports, Tan unexpectedly revealed the word 'keluar' while i didnt hear it clearly. and i did saw her computer on my recent document, there is a file title CV. Is she ready to leave? or just about to start to create the cv? Oh no, I must go first or the company must have 5 days working days if they want to keep me..... kegeeran deh well, enough for today and i started to control my emotion and not showing it directly. I can even smile and laugh to others but not to Tan, that unfair supervisor and her bule boss, that I still keep my 'sakit hati' in my heart. Anyway, the end of today's story.... Next.. watching amazing race 21 :P

badai pasti berlalu

when i wrote down this sentence, it really calmed me down. yesterday whrn to work a bit early cos there is not much traffic. Tan again came late. she teached me how to prepare budget presentation format and data, about 1pm, she didnt even allow me to go home. i was so panic cos i need to prepare myself to kompas fair. at around 2pm i think, i walked to the fair....got my free nu milk tea and then go to registration desks, filled in the data then to payment booth, paid 25k for the ticket and then i went in and walk around. finished at about 3pm, when home. and really really tired, bit galau and just go nowhere. the title really useful, till the time i typed tis, i.am already calm and ready to facing tomorrow..... 加油啊， 陳小姐。。。。

Tiring head

Last night I try to cry but still cant cry. Dont know why. anyway, i went to office a bit early today and prepare for the next battle. As Bule ask collection data for specific complex, Tan said that she will accompany me to meet him. Well, the bule just want to see her, and both keep looking each other while talking. Tan intended to push me to talk to bule, but bule just want to talk to Tan, so i just keep silent and spoke when it needed. I just angry but cant show up the anger. I just want to get out from that bloody unreasonable team asap. i just afraid that if i said it most of the time, i can fail. in lunch time, Tan spoke to me, you just need to do some politic in this team. You just go home at 5.30pm just to show to N and AM as they did superb politic just to lick their bos' ash. Tan said, she was educated with western education same with me, that just "lurus" aja but here, in this team we do need to rule the politic. i just speachless... nothing i can say anymore. This is just bullshit..... Retta said I was in my lower wheel and a bit smelly so everyone seems want to attack me. Really lost my passion to tis team anymore. Jia you jia you jia you!!!!! just forgot, today i kept my head down, half reviewed the budgets, made my head tired. Shoot!!!!!