Reality


Money can be an enemy. It was proven in many ways. With money you can get everything you want and even, you can ‘buy’ a friend. On the other hand, without money, you can do nothing, this is true.

Got a scholarship is always a dream for me. It was a blessed in that year that I was announced as one of the awardees. Thanks God!!

Well, the journey of the dreams has begun. Have a chance to feel how is like to study in overseas was a dream come true for me. Because of the monetary crisis 1998, I can say that I really hate the government, well, I don’t have any rights to blame government because of this.

Having the opportunity to see the other part of the world, make my mind clear. No wonder, in every Ausaids discussion that I attended, seniors always encourage us, go back to ur country and built them so Indo can be a well developed country. I understand now, why so many lectures and government servants were sent to study in Oz with the ADS’ help, they have high nationalisms with a positive mind that after they go back to Indo, they can contribute to their own country and built the country. Reduce the poverty, educate people by sharing their knowledge they got while studying in Oz. I think, in their mind never cross the idea of staying permanently in Oz and get the working permit in Oz. it was crossed in my mind for a while and a bit bete when friends and family asking, when r u plan to go back there? You guys don’t know a lot of things so I cant blame you guys but please don’t ask me such that questions. I am sick of it for the moment. And also the relationship that I have with ADS is much much more precious that I can get. This also doesn’t mean that I cant stay in other country but the consideration is for the good of own country. That why, a friend that I know, when I asked him, wat is ur next target? Go to other country? Well he said, what for? Just be graceful and work in the field that you have here in you country. Well, now wo ming pai ta de yi se

Going back to Indo, make me realize a lot of things need to be done. I don’t try to be nationalist, but that is the reality. As a good citizen (how good??), I need to develop my own skills to build my own country. It doesn’t matter where I work, at least I can give sumtin to the country that give me the chance to see the other part of the world.

The reality I saw here was so so so pathetic. No strict rule, with money, everyone can gain their aims. No queueing, everyone can go the counter quickly to pay, for example.
The infrastructure was not maintain well. With the chance to see the other world make me realize that so many things need to be done with my own ways. No need to ask how I can do it but just pray for me that I can do the best for the country and also pray for my fellow friends that still studying in Oz and when they come back, we can all join together to build our own country.

Walah, ini kok tiba2, I myself being so ….., apa karna mau 17an? Or karna baca email di milis?

Ok next, back to money topic. It is true that money can be the most powerful enemy in ur life. When you have a connection with people and it deals with money, be careful, money can be friend and also can be enemy but I believe it mostly become your enemy.

By having enough money, you can, for example, go to overseas for study, while when you don’t have any money, you can do nothing, even for breakfast or for lunch. Having the chance to study in Oz, make me (again) realize many things.
Money can get you to the highest place, can give you the better life (of course) and chance to stay in other part of the world, money can get to the most enjoyable moment you want to have but remember it was just a moment, as soon as you don’t have money, ur friends will leave you soon and you were all alone for the most of the time.

Complaining about the life and don’t have enough money are also not really good choice, everyone should be graceful of what they can have now, even you only can afford your lunch. God has provided everyone with their destiny and talents, all you can do is 加油 and stop complaining and keep trying. Even you have enough, you will still complaining that you don’t have enough. That is the human nature. Human is a complicated creatures. ----> I like this quite. But how complicated? Everyone can made is become easy when they face it bravely and not influence by other.

Why I become so ignorance this lately? Well many reasons, and I don’t need to tell anyone about this. The one who really know me will know it directly and never ask about it. Facing the real reality is so hard than anyone can imagine. Being in the dream land is just a dream that will end soon. Probably, I was a bit convince by the age thing and the shio thing. I admit, I can more believe to wat the ‘age thing’ said better than the other. The waiting period and the commitment that have by the shio thing, can ruin everything too. How can I act based on that?

Money also can ruin friendship and having different views also can ruin ur relationships with others. That is for sure!!!!! I think I get the message that being in the different world, people will act different to you and see what they can get from u. well my experience during my study, teach me more than I can get, more that I can reach and teach me one thing, don’t trust people 100% because it can be ur number 1 enemy. You can trust people 99% and you have to save that little percentage for urself for self defence. Actually this is not right that you don’t trust people 100% but no other way I can do that, at least I trust you 99% and I didn’t expect to get the trust from people 100% also. Even though a friend said to me, try to believe other and let them grow, it was so hard, because it was from a different world view different from me and friends.

2 nights ago, I got a called from old friend, complaining again bout old decease, that still keep membayangin 她 and I told 她 that I have throw away 她 belonging. Well this is not my false anyway, I have asked for advices before I do it. We talked for a long time. I felt a bit guilty for that, because of other’s false, I have to carry it a bit as my responsibility. Well, I know this is one of the good way, but that sickness, who want to have that kind of decease? No one and no one want to have it.

Just now, chatted with Dee, asking me to go the Eri’s n awen’s de hao re zi. Ce me pan? Should I go? Well, it means that I have to go to Jakarta soon, but my business here is still unfinished, how can I leave?

Also just chatted with Jen, she was soooo kind and invite me to visit her sumtime in the future, so lovely friend that I never meet before. I also have a promise to meet toro this month but did toro come back from Beijing yet?

Send a message to blue just now and let her know that I am in the country now.
I also have the chance to chat with irvie and mamat :P:P but not with aren, he seemed so strange. I felt a bit strange and make me curious to think that he did intended to block my msn? Since irvie and mamat can see him and I cant or my internet connection is suck??? Strange rite? Well probably the internet connection is suck, hate it!!!! Well this is the homework that I need to fix for this country :(

Emailing oren is one of my new activity now, since oren was missing for quite a long time and she only contact me and asking me, others emails that I cant even remember. Nice to hear from oren, probably I can visit oren sumday in the future hahahaha,hope can meet harle at this end of the year and I also hope that blue can finish her study by the end of this year or she has finished already?

More good news to come, yanti is going to have her baby in 2 months time, one of my bestfriend is going to get married, end of this year, well she was actually my auntie but she refuse me to call her like that since we have know each other before I should call her auntie hahahahahaha. Congrats!!! One more good news, I am going to meet Indra, probably, in few days time, when indra got back here to extend the passport. Yeah, I need to arrange this again.

I need to set up my life again, it is not going to be the same anymore. In the last 1.5 year, I can set up by myself but now, since I have to face the reality and say good bye to the dreams land, I have to follow my heart and the rule and authority (that is the bad news)

Got 2 job interviews now and still waiting for the best to come.

Lessons for the day :
Money can blind people
trust is one of the hardest thing to do
facing the reality is difficult when there is no trust and limit
being cheated or being lied by other is also the hardest thing to accept, especially, people say the other way around
people crossing your privacy limit is unforgettable and no mercy for that

Lost....

Everyone has their own life, even their own privacy that not everyone can cross that limit. Well being cheated is the worst thing ever happened, especially when it is ur privacy, the place that where u can do anything you like and what you can act. Saying that forget the connection, but still keep reading it through all the way, well don’t care start from now.

Being cheated and again…. Cen de hen wu liao de shi. My own problem hasn’t done yet, another problem is lai le. Wo ce me pan jue ding na?

I finally found oren, yg sempat menghilang sekian lama, gara2 job training. Hv been contacting blue n harle, but still cant find where they are

Well in this world, I cant trust anyone for sure, my future is in my own hand, I know this will be happened some day and I didn’t expect it would come so fast. Being confused and must follow the rules that make me see the world clearly. Being mixed also not a solution, well, that is the problem that come from the problem, not one can avoid it, but well, actually can avoid it but The One said different for this, and mei pan fa, u have to follow that.

Life is a happiness where you can enjoy it
Life is a sadness when you cant respect and be gratefull of what you get
Life is sumtin so unfair to ‘different world’ people
Life is sumtin fair to the humble people

Well, the life is not that easy to face, the main topic for today is cheated….
A big word that mean a lot to a certain people.
Welcome back to really…. The dreams are over now

The life must go on..

It has been a week, I have leave Sydney for good. I really miss that city, the city that I have my own life, no one can interfere my life there. Back to my home sweet home, I realize that so many things I need to finish. 妈的病 also need me to take care off. Luckily it wasn’t that dangerous.

How is my future now? Haven’t done anything yet since I got here. must I wait for the immigration stuffs done? Or just apply to anywhere I like? The problem is working experience that I don’t really have. Ce me pan?

Still angry with mamat, since he confessed that he pretend to be lisbeth, asking me the ‘limit’ question that I wont give any answer. And I cant even think how come it was mamat, did he had sumtin to say to me?

who don’t feel sick of hearing, when heard people complaining the same problem everytime?

While myself, keep comparing the life style here and Sydney. It is totally different and I prefer the Sydney’s style. More convenience and strict to rule and I don’t feel strange there while here, people looking at me fiercely and I felt scare and even sumtin insulted.

What should I do now?

no title.. bueeeeeeeeeeteeeeeeeeee

Well, being at home is one of the part that I will not miss. Problems come one by one.
Still enjoying my jobless period but I hate listen to people complaining. All of the problems it just about ‘it’self. Different world’s people can easily solve the problem.I had chatted to mamat about this, and he said, yeah, they have the money and no big deal. And I also think that is right, too but g didera terus ama masalah yang sama, sapa yg ga kesel? And my scholarship terms yg dijadikan patokan. Well, kl emang mau org2 lu ke tempat lu and stay with you, go a head, ga usah lewat2 aps or ads, because that is not the right way. You can do it urself, it was proven by you come there alone, not the same as me nana n mamat. Well everyone had their problems and try at least solve by themselves and (again) don’t use me as comparison, I hate that.

Gud news, finally, oren email me and wrote to me wat and where she is these days. Good to hear from her. At least she didn’t missing at all.

Intinya g kesel huehueheuehehhehuuhee

Home….. finally :(

Last Friday was the hectic day I ever had. Busy thinking of the extra luggage that I need to pay and then ended up I don’t need to pay at all because I joined my luggage with Windy and aren’s foot help “:D

Friday 29 July 2005
Morning, busy packing and confuse. Later on, in the afternoon, aren came and nana also came, copying the old pics and then went to dinner with irvie and went to nana’s place, helping her packing.

Saturday, 30 July 2005
The day that I expect never to be happened was happened. Everyone went to airport to say good bye to me, I try to be tough and hold my tears but Windy’s keep falling and I also ikut terpengaruh. It’s really so say that I leave them there because I like it there and I cant go back and stay there for the moment. But at least I didn’t cry in front of them but bombay in the waiting room.
The flight from Sydney to Bali, took 6 hours and arrived at Ngurah Rai Airport at 2.05pm and then around 3pm flight to Jakarta. Arrived at Jakarta 15.20pm and then say goodbye to windy, rika and fahri. About fachri, ternyata he is really annoying and childish. Well, enough, talking about other people. Arrived at cengkareng, took the luggage and then straight away to hotel. Well I was a bit freaking out when I met local people, they’s look so fierce and like seeing me as a good prospect for their next victim. At instant, I hate Jakarta, I really want to go back to Sydney, I felt more safer there. In Sydney, no care what you do and no one care who you are but here, I have to pay respect to elders and at least try to fulfill their requests. It is hard to be the first in the family.

Well enough of that. I think I really got W Curve Syndrome and I actually try to reduce the syndrome effect. I keep comparing Jakarta and Sydney. When I was at jayakarta for dinner, I felt sick and confuse because the area is so dirty and hot, different from sydney’s. and then when I was looking for the new prepaid phone card, I also kept comparing the providers in Sydney and here. I keep thinking, where else on the earth I can get free chat time and felt so close to my friends. Now they are really far far away from me, hiks hiks hiks hiks hiks. Inside my head, I kept telling myself, stop comparing, stop comparing but it didn’t stop comparing and the worse is when I watched tv. The programs became so worse compare to Oz’s tvs. How could that be? And I also felt sick of the commercials, so jijay and hueksssss.

Well, the life must go on and where I can be end up to? No ones know about this, even myself. But definitely, I dislike staying in Jakarta because of everything. I am sick of hot weather and dirty air and the fierce faces that I wont forget and make me aware all the time and felt unsafety.

Going home and leaving Sydney for good (hiks hiks hiks)

It has been a year and 6 months, I am in Sydney. Thinking of leaving this city, really really make me sad. There are a lot of memories here, the sad ones, the happy ones and my struggles to get my degree. Finally, I got my degree at 15 July 2005.

Last Tuesday, we, the GC team minus yuli and ditya, went to Wollongong to visit Nantien Temple 南天寺. We spent almost the whole day there and after that, went to Kiama, a small town with it main attraction, blowhole http://www.kiama.com.au/attractions/blowhole.htm We arrived there a bit late, well, because of, traveling with 15 people.

Last Thursday, we gathered again to compile all the pictures that we took during the Wollongong trip. And the and of the meeting, suddenly, friends were giving me, nana n budi, graduation presents. I was so touch and when I was reading the card, my tears suddenly fall down. I think all my friends were shock, they never saw me cry or something like this. And Rahmat make a joke on this event. He kept saying to me, that he saw a friend crying but he didn’t know what she crying for. I was so sad at that time, thinking that I will leaving them soon and cant spent the time with them anymore, cant traveling with them, cant hang out and cant gather with them until unlimited time. friends in uni's time is forever. in working place, it is hard to get a good friend.

There were so many memories to remember and it will last forever in my heart and my mind. Thinking of going home, I also feel sad, first, I get used to staying in Sydney, it was so much better than I have to stay in Jakarta or Ptk. In Sydney, I learn to depend fully on myself and, well, sometimes, I ‘used’ depends on some one else but not too often, try to do it myself until I cant do it and need others’ help.

Help……… I don’t want to go home, ce me pan?

bugs bunny
isenkk's property

Nan Tien temple
isenkk's property

Holiday

Last week 11-14july 2005
I went to Gold Coast for holidays
We, 12 of us spent the holidays by visiting theme parks, Sea World, movie World and Dream world

and just now, got home from Wollongong, visited Nan Tien Temple, it was quite nice and then went to Kiama to experience the blowhole there and last stop for the night was Wolomooloo (i think the spelling is not right:P), just to have a look, how the hot dog in that place look like

Holiday and jobs hunting

Today, in few more mins, i will going to airport :P
Sea world, Movie World, here i comeeeeeeeeeeee

Well, just checked email, it sended 4 days ago, and I got an beginning interview in one of the 'cool' company :P

well, will blogging soon as i come back on thursday :P

wat a world...

In this post, I probably gonna a bit racist.
Gimana tidak coba
Dah masih kecil dah sok nasehatin g, rese ga si?
Berikut percakapannya :
A:aku mau nasehatin beberapa hal sebelum lu pulang indo
A:tenang
Trus g bilang ga mau eh dijawab: tapi saya Harus, buat bekal masa depan

Buset dah , bokap g aja ga pernah nasehatin g kaya gitu, mang apaan?

Kind of cant except tis, bener2 too much, campur too much, don’t you guys think?
Duh, kl bukan karma janji n hutang budi, don’t know wat I am gonna do then…

2 days before my last exam in uni ….


Ok, I cant wait for my last exam in Uni, after that no more exam, the next is holiday to GC :P
Yesterday, called home, talk a lot and I think I was a bit high temper cos of the parents’ (not my parents, but elders, if I can say that) behaviors that so ngatur2 and think that they are right in everything. Not all of them are right at the first place. Yes they are more experience, you can say byk makan garam, I can understand but at least u guys have to understand dong what are young adults nowadays thing about the life and reality. Cant just judge from ur ‘old’ perpective. Bit piss off because of that.

Kaget ama soi sim gitu, buset dah, langsung aja suruh beliin boneka seharga 600k rp, ga salah neh? Gimana g bawanya? Ga piker lagi buset dah, asli g shock abis cos I didn’t expect that to happen

Well, going home is still a problem. One side, I don’t want to go home, just felt that, this is where I should be, so aman tenteram, kl mau ketemu sodara just sms or call. On the other hand, I have to go home regarding to the end of my scholarship. Soooo sad, leaving all the thing that I have built here. Maju kena mundur kena. Kl pulang jg kudu beli oleh2,duh $$ dari mana?? Duh you chien ren, ni zai na li?

Life….

What is life? Life is so complicated that every human must face …

I just finished watch Desperate Housewives, the soap opera type that actually contains lots of life value. The story is about the groups of housewives life in the suburban. Their life is sooo complicated. No family is perfect and I was thinking who can have the perfect family? Everyone has its own standard about the perfect family.

About life, there is many things to do in this life, such as studying (duh geli banget yah) and then chasing dreams that will come true someday in the future..

Trust is the key, without the trust, life is useless --- > this is wat I put in my msn nick name. and the best is yet to come so try to chase it and pursue it

Exams...


Few hours before exam, i wish i can do it now, cos the burden in my mind......
after tomolo, next is next thursday...

pusing dah.....

Exams dah didepan mata

well, just got my 10%marks, asem g cuma dapet 8/10, kok bisa yah? n rata2nya jg 8.5??
always below the mean. sial or wat? gimana dong buat ngejar D? bisa dapet ga?
just hoping that my second case, got 15 or morelah
sukur2 dapet gede, kl ga, ga tau lagi dah
kudu stop net jg neh , gimana dong?

duh pusing'
byk urusan di saat yg bersamaan,
exams, holiday, going home, apply for jobs,
duh ga tau neh mana yg mau didahulukan? semuanya penting banget

well, bis liat prenster, byk hal baru yg terjadi,
friends, changes, study, life, married, travelling around, entrepreneur....
duh g stress gara2 prenster neh, bis liat jadi sirik.....
duh kan ga boleh sirik, ada jg berusaha n jia you!!!!
come on!! Ganbatte ne!!

Penrith Orange Valley

Well, that is the pic that i took this afternoon :)
I went to spent the day at Penrith, it was about 2 hours drive from Sydney.
First stop, at Honey Farm
then went to The Orange Orchard :P
Quite fun though, it was tiring now and hve to sleep now cos working tomolo :)
earn some $$$ :P

Yg penting buat gw and Blue, Isenkk tetap nomer 1!!!! Cieh!!!! JIA YOU!

*thx sis, boosting up my spirit neh :P
Ganbatte ne!!

Still lost

This will be the few last posts before exams, I guess.
These last few days, I have been spending time not effective and efficient. Don’t know why, maybe the weather is so nice for sleeping and make people become lazy.

Atien’s case, I don’t want to know much. Yesterday, I met her and she showed weird attitude and I don’t want to care that much, although Aren told me a pretty strange event between them. This lead me to ignorance the ‘friendship’ term. It is not that I am not a good buddy but the privacy and my limit about other’s personal life. I don’t want to disturb that.

Then yesterday is bak cang day :P irvie cooked dinner, fish man!! Hehe, quite luxury for living hereJ

Just now, V called, because of lack people for tomorrow’s fruit picking, she asked me to ask my friends to join, enak aja. Emang temen2 g tuh cadangan? kl ga ada yg mau baru cari mereka? I cant except that, g ikut jg because I never been that place before and I try to fix that ‘broken relationship’ with her. Besides that, I also want to spend my time by going out from Sydney :P

Kesel aja gitu lohhhhh, sabar sabarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


.hahaha back to book now :P

KECEWA

Well
I just found out that I was left behind
So I will try to leave them also?
Aren, irvie know the truth already but didn’t tell me, I only can guess and then aren yg ga tahan, kl g gat au, then he insisted me to ask her about the problem.
Well bit kecewa, well my ego is back, don’t care lah as long as they are happy. How come I am the last person to know? Kecewa man!!!or did I do sumtin wrong ?
kenapa g harus the last person???????? am i too caring? or malah ga peduli?

tired

Haven’t posted anything for weeks. Hv been pretty busy and hectic weeks.
Last week, 2 of the assignments due on the same day and same time.
Last week also busy preparing GC trip for next months. Everyone asking me to arrange the trip which I don’t want to because it will caused me to be hate by others but I have to do it anyway since no one want to do it.

Hv made a critical mistake last Sunday, but I will take responsible for it. Been away abit from friends, dunno why, I felt a bit sad but forget it for a moment because I need my time for preparing my exams.

Well tonite at 9pm it the last lecture I could have for the rest of this year. No more lecture no more study starting next month. I am going to have my exam on 23rd and 30th this month, after that I will be no more student but jobless. It is the time for me to find job, tired of asking the right jobs, hope the miracle could happen to me.

Yeah no more school, quite enough for the moment