BBQ at Maroubra Beach Yesteday I went to uni, meet Andi dkk for the final draft of the BBQ for today :) Make some trivia questions for the game and did little bit shopping:P I like shopping very much when it is not using my own fund hehehhehe. We discussed the draft in the PG FCE Common room, where there was also an opening ceremony for the new students of fce. wah fce mah kaya bener ya? party n welcoming melulu, tapi ga ada farewelling gitu. hahhaaha. as a member of compec, gue malah ga peduli hehehe, bis mau gimana ? mereka party mulu. berat di ongkosssss, kecuali stipend naik as many other fellowers wish. well, .... the bbq baru start ehhh hujan, untung dah bakar lumayan banyak, tapi sosisnya ga dapet nehhhh, sebel kannnnn, bleum  puas neh dah pay juga, but apaboleh buat ? ???? Out of my appearance, looks nothing to worry but inside I dont know how to describe it. i think i still can hide everything to other people but.... anyway, i need someone to talk to, probably i will talk to yew kong as jo refers me to him. so hopefully i can do well for the next term. pengusiran hmmm, actually dont how to use the right word in the title. herannya gue selalu berharap and kali ini terkabul. she diusir, and dah 2 kali gue kesenangan cos she said she want to move out. but gue dah kecewa 2kali, cuman ngomong doang, ga ada realisasi. I think i keep thinking about that and ask God, then, just like 2 weeks ago, You fullfill one of my wishes. the one that i dont expect too much. She was asked to move out in a month's time. So, i dont know what to tell, but she can accept that well udah bagus. hope she will doing ok then. But (again) You dont fullfill the stuff that i really want to. pengusiran seperti ini harusnya ga terjadi, mending problem gue yg satu lagi yg dikabulkan. Duhhhhhhh, isenkkkkkkk, ga tau berterima kasih, udah dikabulkan yg satu itu malah minta yang lain lagi, emang deh, ga pernah puas ya? But my most concern is, buat future gue gimana ? how can i handle that ? maybe this is experience for me. like trace back to past,  waktu smu juga, really expected ranking and still jalan2 ke CL, eh rapornya kebakar ? that is not the biggest fear i ever had. i still can' believe that  could be happened to me. Back to kampung, i become the superior but then back to jakarta, i become the underdog and Puji Tuhan, I am doing good in listening ( and i dont believe this too, correctornya salah periksa kali yah??) well, doa gue kurang kenceng kali yah ? ato terpengaruh ama orang laen ? Heran deh Adriann netty aja bisa doing very very well here, kenapa gue ga bisa? kurang g apa seh ? i think, i did reading almost everyday. bisa dibilang, bangun baca buku, mandi makan and then baca buku lagi, then what is wrong with me? Mau nangis tapi malah ga bisa, i dont know how to express it. hmmmm, bener2 hidup di luar itu keras but enaknya aman!! apa coba ? ga ada hubungan sama sekali nehhhhh i am signing out now (20 mins of typing and thinking)

ini yg bikin bingung. everyone seem know what is going on, but i donttt email dr Siu2 : Hi, lagi ngapain? Kok lama gak kirim e mail. Udah libur?Udah telpon2 ke rumah and s che belum?Telpon dong biar beri semangat ke orang2. nah make me think more and think more and more n more and thinking what is going on ? what the hell is happening now ? no one can tell me ? dont brave enough to ask, afraid of tears will fall like rain. i dont expect the bad to happen

ini yg bikin bingung. everyone seem know what is going on, but i donttt email dr Siu2 : Hi, lagi ngapain? Kok lama gak kirim e mail. Udah libur?Udah telpon2 ke rumah and s che belum?Telpon dong biar beri semangat ke orang2. nah make me think more and think more and more n more and thinking what is going on ? what the hell is happening now ? no one can tell me ? dont brave enough to ask, afraid of tears will fall like rain. i dont expect the bad to happen

Bad day again!!!   Oh no, not again. Kenapa bad stuffs happened when I not around ? and not been told ? What am I? Still part of the club or not ? masa dapat update mesti dari orang lain ? untung aaja ada yg bae banget update-in gue. if not ? what should i do ? I have problems to here, my biggest fear, that i really afraid to tell to dad, but who can help me ? Nana seh sepertinya try to comfort me but still dont solve my problems. She tried to call me everyday but...... Yeah she is a good friend but when sometimes i need comfort, she was not there. Vero ? can't diandalkan, selfishness still inside her, too harshhhh.   What happen with my Sis's and mum ? y they become so mysterius? and even excluded me in everything ? what is going on ? anyone can tell me? even 51 aja worrying about me, talking about nan pheng you. I know, i have to find the perfect one for the family, I know that from the very beginning, i am still searching.... but.... problem result menghantam. This is i think become my first biggest lie to dad. i never do that before. REally make me scare of telling the truth that i have failed..... how long i can keep that? in the next 12 months ? hope soooo. really really lonely, how come everyone change in only 6 months ? how come? change dramatically.... really have no real friend to talk to, helpp everyday hoping for help hope God will send the right helper for me, when every U ready to send it to me Lord!!

BAd day
 
Semalam sih ok2 ja, udah berniat ngeblog buttttttttttt
iseng cek email dr uni, then suddenly BOOOMMMM
result is out already, I failed one, dont know how to tell my parents.
but the good thing is, that subject is elective one so i dont have to take it anymore.
 
sebel nehhhhhh, untung pagi ini buru2 email judith, she said that i dont have to take that subject anymore, asik seh, but bad is thing is, that subject will be forever written in my transcript, SHIT!!!!!
 
udah gitu i am in probation condition, gila kan ? emang gue ngapain juga sampe probation ? kaya criminal neh.
duhhhh sebel dehhh, gimana tanggulanginya ya ?
bukannya stress but i dont know what to do now.
 
I need someone to talk but i dont know who. housemates ? ga bisa diandalkan, then uni friends? cant tell them more, because the 'gossip things'
 
I really dont know, to whom i should talk to. i already talk to Judith, she cant do more that she can do to help me.
duh bingung neh gue. somebody help meeeee!!!
 
Barusan lagi, awen telp, her mom want to say something about the house. i dont know what to expect. shse said that her mom is ok with me, but i dont know what is going to happen later on. Ajum lagi, sikapnya kasar banget. i didnt know what i said wrong last night. she didnt told me, is it about me or awen's mom ? should i consult this problem with abon ? but she is kind that not helping at all.
 
duh, gue dah ga sabar neh, akhirnya tell awen jg neh, i failed one subject, can i blame her? i dont thing so. i only can blame to the situation, not to the people. i can blame them on that day, but it still dont change what i get for the exams, right ? I NEED HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
SOME BODY help meeeeeeeeee
 

kind of lazy of blogging. ga tau tuh kenapa. padahal right now is the perfect time to blog, but males aja tuh.
heran deh, kenapa ya gue mau aja diajak kongsian transport ya ? padahal.... duh susah sih ngomongnya. ga ada pilihan gitu. huh pusing deh gue. situasi rumah dah tenang for 2 days, besok bakal rame lagi tuh, mei pan fa lahhh. Tinggal 1 minggu to go, then o have to decide pergi ke Croydon ga? (duh apa hubnya rumah n Croydon ??)

dah ah pusing neh, banyak masalah, urusan kuliah, family, co, temen2, internet, relation with other people ? duh can i run awa from this problems ? Give me a hint please!!!

pusing deh gue

urusan rumah sepertinya dah terorganisir dgn baik, skrg gantian vero lagi yg suka, ada maunya, maksa minta dipenuhi, dan she can use the situation really good. balikin situasi ke g orang. duh kadang jadi sebel. semalam dah tunggu 2 jam buat dinner, bukan tau terima kasih ?
sebel deh jadinya

dah ah males blog