tired mind and soul

I have been quite for a week.... quite refreshing that my sis passed her master degree exam and my mum came to visit. This afternoon, when i am preparing for going home, Tan said, wait for her, she has lots of things to do....What the hell is she talking about? i have put those documents weeks ago and she didnt even look at it. It that the sign of good manager? And then she said, have you checked the values, all good? and then she said again, have checked the wording, everything alrite? She is just dont want to let me go home although it was already after office hour. i want to piss off but already dont know how to get mad.... and then she said how come JL, one of other manager, become like this not checking the documents. how should i know? he is you best friend, and you asked me? You better fuck off!!! my limit already in the corner..... new job please come please.....

holiday

yesterday is a holiday, not stepped out from house hahahaha... preparing a writing for serdos...so difficult even to answer ever question in 150 words minimum in bahasa. need to finish it tonite... is my work cycle back to beginning? cape boooo

lazy

after the budgetting the situation is almost back to normal and i just to lazy to type. i need ideas for deskripsi diri... so hard to write in indonesian. better in english ahhh jia you!! also need to apply many and more jobs :)

glad i have this blog

just happy that i have this blog to spilt out my 'uneg2'

feeling blue

woke up early in the morning, not early than work days but still early have appointment to see apartment apart from it, felt guilty with the Fairs that i have attended, looks like i dont qualify..... so stress-full. I think i qualify but afraid to try. Need more -jia you- I just need more supports. Need to share the thing in my head but seems everyone is sick with my sharing... and myself also sick of it. I dont need to have that such 'uneducated' share.... how can i let it go? New jobs please close to me, I need it desperately and tomorrow is monday again... time runs quickly these days

lost my passion to this company

/sigh/ i felt into wrong company, although it pays lot but the environment is really really not healthy. yesterday, Tan asked me to sort collection datas from 10 complexes and she said that she will do the big complexes. Well, i felt relief that she will do... but till tis saturday morning, what she did was, came late, busy gossiping with other staffs about the politics in the company and then, at the end, she said, we can finish the data on monday rite? What the hell? I am the one who busy sorting the datas and she just came late and gossiping... baka!!! so unfair.... i just dont like people who just saying thing without can really do it. yesterday was her bday, no big cake and i didnt buy any cake too..... just bought a piece of fabric is more than enough cos it more useful than cake. others were asking her bday cake, and thought she was too stingy to spend the more. i think she is stingy hahaha after office hour, i went to #fair2. I did drop my cv to lilly.... wow... also drop little at amway... same pharmaceutical... o la la la wish me luck my dad just told me that i am one of the sertification candidates and have to prepare my resume.... ohh.. jia you ah yan ling!!!!!

no passions..

truly really lost my passion to the jobs. i still handle it well but i just dont like, when i just arrived at office, directly ask me to do this and that, while she just doing something else for her own use. give me a breath..... my sakit hati still there...really difficult to cure...it needs some time but as soon as i change ti new job...it will cure directly..people said, neighbour's grass always greener....but i just dont care. i need to change, need to get passion's environment..not environment that teach you kill each other... please guide me Lord....i know You have prepare the best for mqhe

lazy

my storm almost over... last night, when home about 7pm, Tan asked me to stay at office and she wanted to go home.... What???? this afternoon, become operator for GMs presentation...... and good news is, on saturday I can join my fair#2 little bit earlier, cos no meeting on that day!! Yihaaaaaaa I saw on Tan's computer, a document titled CV... is she going to :GO: ???? well, i am calming a bit now.... dont want to talk about it anymore just jia you!!!

The storm hasnt passed yet

Last saturday I went to Kompas Job fair :P well I should pay and found some jobs that I interested to. need to start apply asap. As I finished the work at around 2 pm, baka!!! overtime already and get no pay!! Tan even dont allow me to go. just started to teached me how to calculate those reports at around 12pm and expect me to finish it asap. What a ridiculous habit? I am not a perfect woman, just ordinary people that need to study things before become expert. Then I just promise her that I will finish on Monday. I did finished but it wasnt perfect at all. She just grumbling and 'soft torturing' while checking my reports. is there any people can do the reports perfectly 100% as she want at the first try? I dont think so. Even the datas are not tallied each other, so how can the numbers be the same, even produced in different way? Today is record, i leaved office at 10.30pm alone, no other team mates. If i have other team mates, then it was much better. but I am alone!!! ALONE!!!! Btw, in the process of checking the reports, Tan unexpectedly revealed the word 'keluar' while i didnt hear it clearly. and i did saw her computer on my recent document, there is a file title CV. Is she ready to leave? or just about to start to create the cv? Oh no, I must go first or the company must have 5 days working days if they want to keep me..... kegeeran deh well, enough for today and i started to control my emotion and not showing it directly. I can even smile and laugh to others but not to Tan, that unfair supervisor and her bule boss, that I still keep my 'sakit hati' in my heart. Anyway, the end of today's story.... Next.. watching amazing race 21 :P

badai pasti berlalu

when i wrote down this sentence, it really calmed me down. yesterday whrn to work a bit early cos there is not much traffic. Tan again came late. she teached me how to prepare budget presentation format and data, about 1pm, she didnt even allow me to go home. i was so panic cos i need to prepare myself to kompas fair. at around 2pm i think, i walked to the fair....got my free nu milk tea and then go to registration desks, filled in the data then to payment booth, paid 25k for the ticket and then i went in and walk around. finished at about 3pm, when home. and really really tired, bit galau and just go nowhere. the title really useful, till the time i typed tis, i.am already calm and ready to facing tomorrow..... 加油啊， 陳小姐。。。。

Tiring head

Last night I try to cry but still cant cry. Dont know why. anyway, i went to office a bit early today and prepare for the next battle. As Bule ask collection data for specific complex, Tan said that she will accompany me to meet him. Well, the bule just want to see her, and both keep looking each other while talking. Tan intended to push me to talk to bule, but bule just want to talk to Tan, so i just keep silent and spoke when it needed. I just angry but cant show up the anger. I just want to get out from that bloody unreasonable team asap. i just afraid that if i said it most of the time, i can fail. in lunch time, Tan spoke to me, you just need to do some politic in this team. You just go home at 5.30pm just to show to N and AM as they did superb politic just to lick their bos' ash. Tan said, she was educated with western education same with me, that just "lurus" aja but here, in this team we do need to rule the politic. i just speachless... nothing i can say anymore. This is just bullshit..... Retta said I was in my lower wheel and a bit smelly so everyone seems want to attack me. Really lost my passion to tis team anymore. Jia you jia you jia you!!!!! just forgot, today i kept my head down, half reviewed the budgets, made my head tired. Shoot!!!!!

The sign has been showned... it is the time to move on...

this morning, a super ridiculous event happened. Bule asked Tan to show him collection data from a complex and then Tan asked me to give it to Bule. bule said sit there and explain it to me, dont just throw the paper to him. Weks, I didnt really see the report yet so I just answer as far as i know. Then he got angry and said, You just cant work like this. You come here every morning and and leave without any one minute left (oh i forgot how he said this, but the point is, he is angry that I have to leave office on time because I has nothing to do...) What the hell is he talking? I am not busy and just sit there in the workstation and just waiting time to go home? Why did you hire me for the first place? u just can fire me if you want... I dont mind cos If i was wrong, it is ok, but if i am right, i will fight for it. then he called Tan, asked her if she is available for meeting with me and him at 2 pm, also the complex's manager. At 2 pm, started the meeting and then bule started to yelling and said the manager, such an idiot, bloody idiot, you are doing nothing just come to office from monday to friday and at 4 just wait time to tick to 5 and then go home. I just so surprise with the manager's behavior, he is just so calm, and didnt show any reaction that usually can happened it somebody got yelled. anyway, the meeting ended about an hour and then the manager had a little meeting with Tan. uh I didnt care at all. Actually I had really really upset with the situation. i want to cry just to release my stress but I cant cry, dont know why, may be because this is not my mistake. Even Mat, the one who sit in front of me, know that Bule's main target of anger is Tan. May be after hearing that I felt a little bit calm. in the meeting, I just shock that bule's act was like that, just like uneducated people. he just acted like 'preman', his attitude showed that he want to hit manager, but he cant do it and he just blamed it to the meeting table which is hard to broke cos it was made from marmer ( uhh dont know how to write marmer in englih) bule went out from office around 4 pm i think, then the secretary and Mat, just leave the office as soon as the time ticked to 5 pm... See.... everyone trying to make a good appearance to Bule and just go on time when he was not there. for me, Tan let me got at 5 is not Bule's business, if i had nothing to do, then what is the point spending the time longer in the office? I have other thing to spend. Everyday, Bule come to office around 9.30am and leave office around 6.30pm.... my analogy is he is spending the same working hour as we, other employees, he just have priviledge to come later, not on time and leave after general employees leave office at 5 pm. the same working hours, rite? his secretary, spending time with her bb, bule just do nothing... He only scared of COO? the one who can fire him? Thanks God that I am not really angry, but it already make me lost interest in my job. Just try hard to apply to other job and pray more that I can get other better job and better environment. I just almost unlucky with any job that I have. the first one is not satisfied with the $$, the others mostly, dissatisfied with the bosses... God, help me... Mother Mary, please pray for me.....

lost

i just lost it just now. Already typed a lot and then it missing

He can listen to what you want ....

Lately, every morning, my phone will ring, a message from mobile provider advertising something.... in that habit, i always bear a habit, hope it came from Tan, sending message, she is sick... and then this morning when i heard the ringtone, i just hope not from provider.. well, it comes true... i know i am being cruel but just give me a pleasure for a short moment. She messaged that she got home late and her body was not right, hot and cold, also nose bleeding... just a reason.. but oklah, so i can work peacefully without being disturb... hope i can get another boss, prefer male. in the after noon, bos bule looking for Tan, and i didnt give any announcement to him, the i told him that she was sick and sending message to me this morning, I just said, sorry pak, my mistake, wont do that anymore....i did it on purpose, she should told her boss that she is sick, right? I am not her kacung... Thank you JC for making my day peacefully today... At lunch's time, sharing this experience with the colleagues is fantastic!! they gave me a lot of supports and comments. thanks friends

hunting new job

uhhh actually I dislike to post things like this to blog but where can i curhat freely? My week in hunting new job already started. i have send several application via jobstreet and waiting for the calls now. Hopefully I got the fish. in 10 days's time I want to attend Oz graduate job fair... pray for me that i got hooked to the best job that dont have to work on saturdays and great supervisors and bosses, not like that uneducated jerk that sit in the cubicle next to me... 燕 玲 Jia you!!!!You can do it!!! Jesus, help me!!! and forgive my sins... Amin :)

Second post in 2012 and it will sum up all the things that happened in a year

in previous post I have stated that i have a new job. the job was admin assistant to a administrative manager... Wow, the title was so wow.. i started in nov 2, 2011, almost a year ago and i got accompanied from the person who resigned from this position for about 25 days after that I worked alone and did the searching on how to complete the job myself. The boss = Tan, at first gave a good impression but, 10 months later, i am sick of her and she is just suck..... when talked about Tan.... my head started to burn....She is just completely suck and childish like uneducated person. Just like this afternoon, she warned me not to take the full lunch time just for lunch cos i have urgent review to be done. What? you just want the easy part only, i did the checks and you just pointed it out in the meeting in quick time without spending your brain thinking hard. if it was urgent, you can just go down stair to go to ATM to get some money or just walked around.... a month ago, Tan told me to come early every morning cos it was budgeting month. just 'bingung', what for? the meeting started at 9am and i have to come early just to be your 'kacung'? no way..... the point that i come early just to set up the laptop and connected it to the projector. That is!!!! so simple only take 5 mins to set that, right? just unbelievable...... This happened because she dont like me to talk to the purchasing staff that a good friend of mine, a friend to share the working stuff. i just dont understand why she dislike me talking to the purchasing staff. 2 person before me, also treated this way to, got warning about talking to the purchasing staff. What so great from the purchasing staff till Tan got afraid or envy every time i talked to her??? Tan is sick in health and mind... hope she can 'go' smooth in curing her sickness or I just get new job.. .Come new job, come to me.. please... really need it asap....

first post in 2012

it has been almost two years since the last post......there were lots of things happened. i got job in jakarta, in one of the biggest property group in the nation. it paid well, but the boss shows her evil and childish side after a year i worked with her...time to move on and i have applied to few other company. i just dont want to rewrite again...but i need to plug in tis blog so it can be read in the future.