后悔

我很后悔
因为我找不对的工作. 为什么呢? 我也不知道.
This is the thing that I actually have to start weeks ago since I have resigned from that unlucky job.
This is the story about the wrong choice and did not trust my own instinct to make the decision. I have been working for an institution for a while and thinking of changing working environment. The opportunity then comes when some day in late of May 09, if I can remember; I saw a job adv in local newspaper that looking for some people that competent in the field that they are looking for. I try to apply to that job and a week later, got call from a ‘cruel person’ (I called it that way because of his attitude and behavior so awful) and asking me to send my application to his yahoo email. Then I try to send it and then the other person which is the investor called me and asked for a meeting to discuss the further possibility to join the company. I have to explain, first, that this is a service company that I went to. They have the investor who invest their money to this company and try to make benefit of it and then they also have operational crews to operate the company which is lead by this ‘cruel person’. At first, I was really happy that they (investor and ‘cruel person’) were so welcome and just simple interview between me and the investor. The investor seemed like me and want me to start asap. The next thing after the short and simple interview was send me to Jakarta to meet the director of finance because she needed to see me whether I appropriate with the job or not. I have even to spend one day ‘bolos’ from my previous company. I have the interview in 雅加达 in one early Friday in June and then a week later investor let me know that I was accepted and wish me to join the asap. At that time I still cant decide whether to join or not because of the LOI was totally week for me, did not the same as we talked through the verbal conversation. No much benefit I can get from the LOI, only the social welfare that I got, not like my previous company that we have pension plan, health insurance, 14 times of salary a year and almost a month salary for bonus. For that reasons, when the ‘cruel person’ send me the LOI, I was bit disappointed with the benefit they offered and decided to refuse the offer dispute the salary is quite ok for me at that time. Share this decision to my in-laws and she also agreed that I refused the offer. At that time I think that the problem was done. The case is CLOSED but what happened after 3-4 weeks later!!!!
The investor then called me again and raised the salary to make me agree to take the offer and he insisted at that time to talk to my mum since he was my mum’s high school friend. Hargain niat baik orang, that statement that make me take the offer which I regret till now. How come I was so blind at that time? Trust you feeling is the right instinct. After I decided to take the offer then I made a resign letter to my previous boss. He was so shock that I will out from the office. I can rate myself as best employee there because I can finish every problem that I have without his supervision and he even don’t know what I have done to finish the job and I never make any ‘trouble’ mistakes. So I officially will start my new job in the mid of August 09.

On the first day, I felt good because of the environment that I have known before. Oh I forgot to mention that before I have resigned I have join the new job in the afternoon to evening to learn something that I need to learn but actually I don’t learn anything because that was not really a TRAINING program. I spend almost 2-3weeks nights just to went to that office and learn nothing. S@#$!!! Wasting my time and my health. The first week, there was a lady who just told me, what is the job about and just give brief explanation what is BUDGET!!!!!! Well, didn’t explain how to make the report just telling me, it was easy, I can do it!! Sialan!!!! Then the next week later, come another lady who just care about the audit side. And this is also nothing since I don’t learn anything new or how to operate the job well.

The other part that I was lazy to tell was the behavior of the ‘cruel person’. When you facing with him, it was ok but his attitude will make you illfeel. Pokoknya ribet deh kl mau menjelaskan tentang orang itu, better to forget what he is like. Sometime, he will push you to do something that you actually don’t need to do. For eg, there was a event that cost for about IDR 7M, he insist to pay but the investor reject to pay then he threw this ‘shit’ to me. Ask me to finish the payment by just paying half of the amount. Who the HELL want to make dealing like this? You did the project and asking me to clean up ur rubbish? Well this is only one. It is ok, can be solved well. I thought this would be end but there came another one. The other event need to print some stuffs and he ask to much to print and the investor was asking why too many and then he ,again, ask me to cancel the print while the printing activity in the printing company already running? Am I just the cleaner??? Your OB? What the F###!!!!! There were other thing that I wont tell here cos makin dicerita makin kesel termasuk dengan pernyataan investor yang You just sit there become a doll and I don’t care anything yang penting income gue masuk terus dan benar!!!! Well, yang punya duit emang ga pernah pikir bahwa usaha orang bawah juga perlu dihargain dong, ga hanya kalian perhatikan income or revenue yang masuk.
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The problem was: wrong management with wrong people to manage this company. The investor was really really ordinary businessman with traditional management and while the new service company that they were trying to build was an international franchise company that (used) to have good reputation in it field (? I assumed?????). the operational crews included that ‘cruel person’ were wrong candidates to operate this new service company although those have experiences in it field for some of years but they did not melebur into local culture here.
I don’t even have the appropriate training to do this job. Keterlaluan deh
Every time ‘cruel person’ said that he was a bit of 华人gene, make me look down to him. Is every one blind that can not see that you are have 华人blood? 很黑又没有tampang that he deserved to be called as Chinese!!!!!!!!! Karna tidak bisa bersaing di lingkungan kita and ga tau malu to say he has teng lang hue in his body. Cih………. Ga tau malu ya? This issue make me a bit angry because bener2 ga tau malu ya!!!!
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Late of October 2009,
The long essay, the story of my bad experience in choosing the right job to do. Just trust you instinct and believe yourself.

After Wrong and big fatal decision

need to tell the story asap but too lazy to type
zhe me pan?
shei lai pang wa?

Lanjutan cerita moving to the next step off the job
I never really think that I will meet such cruel person in working condition
never never thought in my mind
kok ada gitu loh, org yg lebih jahat daripada org jahat di sinetron2 ?? how come?
but let yang berkuasa aja yang membalasnya aja

Well, after 1.5 month of working I have decided to quit this job. cos this job is actually suitable for me but the working condition doesnt support me

in 1.5 month I have loose lots of weight, in one side which is good but not good for my mind and mental.